Teachers are wonderful people. They spend their time with children each day, educating them on matters of the classroom and the real world. The lift spirits, are masters of crowd control, and often serve as world-class referees.
But, despite what our students may think, teachers and paraprofessionals are not perfect. They do not always remember the little eyes and ears that surround them. They forget that they are role models, and that they have a tremendous effect on their students.
That being said, there was an incident this week that has yet to escape my mind.
There is a student in my class who is less fortunate than the rest of my kids, and that's putting it lightly. Her mother works day and night, and her high school age brothers are raising her. She comes in every morning with dirty hands and a dirty face. This is to be expected at the end of a long day, but this is how she gets off the bus every day and it leaves me wondering how often she is able to take a bath each week.
One day this week, it started out warm, but as the day progressed, it got windy and quite cold. Needless to say, many of the kids were not prepared for the weather. This one little girl wore a short sleeve shirt. By the time we got to the playground, she could barely play she was so cold. I had a little sweater on but didn't really need it, so I called her over and told her to wear it. Since it was a three quarter length half sweater on me, it was practically a jacket on her. At the end of recess, she handed it back to me, but when I saw her little brown eyes and her curly hair that needed some TLC, and I thought of my closet that is literally overflowing with clothes, I knew she needed that sweater more than I did. I told her to keep it and take it home with her.
Later, as she was waiting for her bus to come, one of the para-pros I have bus duty with was commenting on how many of the kids were not prepared for the chilly weather that seemed to sneak up on us and then asked me if I was cold. She also noted that this morning I had a sweater on but probably needed it more now. I told her that I ended up giving it to this little girl, who was sitting only two or three seats away from where we were standing. When the para looked at the little girl who I was referring to, she said
"You know you'll probably never see that again".
This disgusted me. First of all, did she not understand the meaning of the word "give"? I didn't want the sweater back, I just wanted this child to have a little something to keep her warm. This little girl had nothing and I am blessed beyond belief. I gave her a sweater, that I maybe paid ten dollars for but she was so happy to have something on her shoulders, to keep her warm, and it made her feel special to have something from her teacher, or so I'd like to think. Not only had this fellow paraprofessional said such a tart, hurtful thing right in front of this child, loud enough that I'm sure the child heard, but she seemed so accusatory and disdainful of this child's circumstance.
I wish I could forget about it but it really hurt me knowing that this sweet child heard what the para said about her. She trusted this para, and saw her every day, and now she had put her down, in front of her peers.
Children are much more aware than we give them credit for. They pick up on everything everyone says and does. If they hear our put downs and our harsh words about their home lives, which believe me, they are not oblivious to, they will start to believe these things about themselves. And then they will accept these words as truth. Even I have been guilty of this, but this encounter made me hyper aware and I've been watching my words ever since. I am working in the school system as a vehicle to dole out love in exponential amounts, to figuratively and literally wrap my arms around my students and let them know how wonderful they are and how worthy they are.
If you give love, you will receive love in return.
This week during playtime, one of my kids came up to hug me. As she came up, all of my kids began to run at me with their arms open. My whole class had wrapped me up in a group bear hug. It was the happiest I have felt in while, and certainly the most happiness I had felt all at one time. We all smiled and giggled as we hugged each other. Then, their little hugs became stronger and I fell to the ground.
I had literally been tackled with the love of my class.
Teachers must be more careful about what they say and do around their children. They hear us. And they take it to heart. Love is a verb. It's not enough to tell our students (or anyone in our lives, for that matter) that we love them and care for them. We must treat them with respect, and give them the love they deserve every day.
"Learn to love for the sheer joy of loving" -Rev. Bill Hurdle
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